Saturday, April 14, 2007

Gay In Bombay

What is being Gay In Bombay?

For some it is attending a GayBombay Party every other week. For some it is being at Maheshwari Udyan on Saturday evening. Or the seedy bar Voodoos. Cruising the notorious walls at the Gateway of India. The loo on Platform No 1 at any local railway station. The 5th (or is it the 7th?) compartment of the local train.

Private Party at Sher-e-Punjab. Sunday Highs at Humsafar. Monday lows on the GB mailing list. Tuesday blows on the G_B mailing list. Quick connections on Guys4Men. Long Friends' lists on Orkut. Lazy messages on OhMojo. Waiting for updates on GayBombay.Org and never finding it. Every 10th guy in the BEST bus. Every 5th guy at bandstand. Every 3rd guy at that fashion show. Every other guy at BRIO. Every guy outside MacDonald's at Andheri. ASLs in India room.

Cursing guys from Delhi (or up North) for being haughty and still falling for their physical appearance. Loving the drag queens and their flamboyant walk. Pretending to be macho and proclaiming hatred for all things effeminate. Looking for a one night stand but never admitting it. Hating monogamy and still wanting a boyfriend. Pretending to be sophisticated to impress the hot guy from France. Discovering an old copy of Bombay Dost at the काबाडिवाला (kabadiwala).

Smiling when Karan Johar tries to sneak in another reference to homosexuality on his show. Hating Mr. Mallya for his Ugh. Watching a movie because it had a hint of a gay subplot. Getting disappointed when there was no gay kiss in it. Gossiping about how a friend of a friend of a friend of a guy you know made out with John Abraham. Leading 2 lives. Hating bisexuals. Or defending them. Hating selfish tops. Or loving them. Denouncing married guys who look for sex with other guys. Having sex with them. Exchanging numbers but waiting for the other guy to call. Searching for that great underwear store. Mint drops before a date. Low waist Jeans. Sucking in your tummy.

Getting excited when the hot guy you passed turned around just when you did. Turning at least 4 times more if he didn't. Hating that fat guy but not minding a blow job from him. Promising to call but not calling him again. Getting disappointed when the other hot guy who promised to call doesn't. Having at least 10 Rahuls, 5 Amits and 3 Siddharths in your phonebook. Kicking yourself for not being bold enough to approach that hottie who's been eyeing you on the station platform. Posting on GB next day asking him to email you if he's reading.

Meeting that great guy again after not being in touch for 2 years. Losing touch again after a few rendezvous. Getting frustrated about how invisible gays in Mumbai are. Still staying deep in the closet. Wishing sec 377 was done away with. Still not finding time to even sign an online petition for its support. Flinching when a straight friend displays homophobic tendencies without realizing you are gay. Still not having enough self-respect (or the balls) to confront him. Wishing you were in the US or the UK or Canada so you can be open about your sexuality. Being gay in Bombay while trying to not be gay in Bombay. Enjoying gay blogs by local guys. Hating it when they don't post for weeks.

The list is endless. I like some. I hate some. I experienced some. I want to experience some. I love some. I cringe at some. This is what makes being gay in Bombay so exciting. This is what makes life so miserable. I want to live it all. I want to escape it all. Contradictions? That's another word for Being Gay In Bombay.

What does it mean to you? Leave your comments and let me know.


Anonymous said...

Wel, u described the plight of a gay in a very tru sense. I really liked wat u wrote. I think it's the same everywhere. For a DElhhite, It's just may b the BEST gets replaced by the DTC, the local trains get replaced by d Metro..may b 10 Rahuls get replaced by 10 Ankurs...may b instead of hating the Delhiites, u hate the ppl 4m South... bt neverthelss the basic feelings of a gay wud remain the same...Anywhr!!!
wel, ol in ol...very wel expressed!

ps: Why do u curse d Delhiites.??


Very nice article stating the facts. Enjoyed reading too. Thankx for the material.

ankit said...

hey very nice.kya baat hai tum toh likhte bhi zchchha ho..... waise i think u are right through out the pera.

Anonymous said...

you didn't mention the bodies in the gym..
sneaks in the movie halls

Anonymous said...

Its well written whats true in our world !

kundan said...

hi dear
it is marvolour and i wanna want to

Shailesh said...

Thats an awesome article, liked the style used to put the idea into perspective.
I don't know about the 5th or 10th compartment in mumbai, nor about mcdonalds at Andheri, but what I know for that you seem to have got a lot of things right especially about the waiting for calls, hating bisexuals/defending them etc..
keep it up dude...I like to read more posts from you said it appropriately...hating it when they dont post for weeks..

Anonymous said...

WOW! An OFFENSIVE blog criticizing an otherwise normal gay behaviour(i mean it, otherwise normal gay behaviour).

The GB group wasn't enough that another gay took his turn to pick on other gays through blogs.

Thats not being gay in bombay, thats just living your life the way you want with instincts, carnality and insecurities of the world, where both homophobes and openly gay guys take their turns to harrass the rest.

Anonymous said...

you missed one thing, though i have never been to a gay bombay party or anything similar but yes i have chatted to many and they were all to a great extent of the opinion that people come for one night stands.
One thing you missed is that gays sleep non-stop and change bed-partners like clothes, but continue to be dissatisfied and still want a boyfriend, what I dont understand is that were none of those 16-17 or more guys you slept with boyfriend material?

Anonymous said...

so true. everything. felt u were talking to me. want to hug u and cry and laugh. being gay n posting messages as annonymous.

OIO said...

TRUE to the CORE...
Good work

Reminds me of my good old Mumbai...

laddu said...

Nice Blog...Good Work..

All the Best

Anonymous said...

Very nice and very very true !!!
I sincerely applaud this post!!!
Really hit THE spot in my heart...and am sure - for all gays!!

Anonymous said...

Perhaps this is the best description one can give for a desperate gay in Mumbai however I dont agree with all the points as mentioned, for example I never wait at the so called damn toilets at railway stations or neither do I attend the GB paties with the intension to seek someone for a one night stand though I know many of my friends who does. For me its just a kinda entertainment for a weekend & nothing much.

I appreciate your work but separates my entity to such expresion. Does being gay means that you are desperate to have fuck with every Tom Dick & Harry, I dont think so. Being a gay in Bombay is a challenge & I love that.

anuj said...

hey just read your blog...and its too good..i m nt frm still i can relate to it..!!i liked the humor and the sarcasm and the truth in it..!!plus the fact that v dont read much blogs from indian gay guys....gr88 goin..and looking 4ward to reading more from you..!!

Big Boy Mayan said...

Anonymous 1: I do not curse Delhites. I used the Delhite as a stereotype. As you said, it is the same everywhere.

Nakul Kumar: You are welcome and thank you for reading.

Ankit: Thanks!

Dev: Yes I cannot understand how I could have forgotten the gym! But then there are probably a hundred more things that I didn't mention.

Anonymous 2: Thanks!

Kundan: Thank you!

Shailesh: I definitely plan to update the blog as often as I can.

Anonymous 3: You obviously did not take the blog in the sense I meant you to take it. By all means you are free to disagree with what I have to say but I think you were reading sarcasm where there was none!

Anonymous 4: What can I say? It takes all kind of guys to make Bombay a gay city. If someone is happy with having random sex then who am I to judge him? It is not a bad thing.

Anonymous 5: I think I understand what you mean. Wish I could hug you too!

oio: Interesting name!

Laddu: thanks!

Anonymous 6: Thanks!

Anonymous 7: You chose to ignore all the things and decided to concentrate on just the sex part. Well, I was not trying to describe one guy here. I was just playing on the stereotypical things we do. This included all kind of guys . Some of them may be looking for just sex, some for fun, some for friendship, some for relationship and some nothing at all! Why is someone looking for sex (and not being apologetic about it) the villain or the lesser person?

Anuj: Thanks!

Kurush said...

Well, am not a a bi-sexual, and i dont know why u dislike them either..but in all i loved ur writeup..

Big Boy Mayan said...


I wrote "Hating bisexuals. Or defending them"

I certainly do not hate bisexuals. What I was trying to say is that there are some gay guys who actually discriminate against bisexuals even when they scream bloody murder when they get discriminated against! But then such is life...

Anonymous said...

Hey its a brilliant article dude. I love the way you hold the reader by his collar and take him through your experiences so passionately. Do keep writing buddy, you have a real gift.
If possible, please get in touch with me at
- Taran