Thursday, June 28, 2007
How to save pictures from Manjam on your computer
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Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Eye Candy - Vikas Khanna
Vikas Khanna is the first guy to get featured in my new "Eye Candy" section. Vikas is a New York Celebrity Chef.
Vikas Khanna was born in Amritsar, India and started young in the food industry working for his family catering business.
He moved to New York and wasted no time in getting to the top and is now a celebrity chef. Vikas now runs his own restaurant, writes books and does humanitarian work.
He has founded SAKIV - South Asian Kid's Infinite Vision to reach out to and to create awareness about vision disorders in children.
These are not the reasons he is featured here - he's just so cute! With those beautiful eyes and infectious smile he might as well be a model!
Vikas Khanna was born in Amritsar, India and started young in the food industry working for his family catering business.
He moved to New York and wasted no time in getting to the top and is now a celebrity chef. Vikas now runs his own restaurant, writes books and does humanitarian work.
He has founded SAKIV - South Asian Kid's Infinite Vision to reach out to and to create awareness about vision disorders in children.
These are not the reasons he is featured here - he's just so cute! With those beautiful eyes and infectious smile he might as well be a model!
If you want your pictures to be featured here or know someone who deserves to be, write to me at BigBoyMayanNoSpam@gmail.com (Remove "No Spam" from the email).
Lesbian Marriage
In the popular sitcom Friends, the character of Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe) has to deal with a situation where the spirit of an old lady enters her body instead of moving on to heaven because she has some "unfinished business". It turns out that the old lady wanted to see a lot of things in her life and now it is up to Phoebe to do it for her.
When Phoebe attends a Lesbian wedding, the old lady cries out "Oh my god. Now I've seen everything!" and leaves Phoebe's body. That was back in 1996...showing how uncommon gay marriages were, even in the US.
Now, in 2007, we have news of a Lesbian wedding right here in India. Two young girls from Punjab, Baljit Kaur and Rajwinder Kaur got married earlier this month and were courageous enough to declare it to the world. As expected the religious fundamentalists have denounced the marriage. The girls are of course determined to make their marriage a success and are ready to fight the society come what may. They are ready to leave India and head for Canada where their union will be acceptable legally.
One of the girls was quoted as saying "Boys are cheaters and we girls trust each other", adding "most boys are drug addicts and are not faithful". I'll ignore the the sweeping generalization for the time being. But I can't help but wonder if that is the reason they "became" lesbians? Would they be straight if they had found a guy who is not a cheater, who was faithful and who was not a drug addict?
Another point that is notable is that although rare, we do keep hearing about lesbian marriages in India. This has happened at least 3-4 times in the past 5-6 years. But except for the Wendell Rodricks wedding back in 2003, I have not heard of guys getting married. The Rodricks marriage was a gay civil union that is legal in France because Rodricks' partner is french and the ceremony was carried out at the french consulate.
So why do we not hear about gay guys getting married? Is it because these kind of marriages do not take place in India? Or is it because it might actually be illegal based on sec 377 that technically makes male gay sex illegal but not Lesbian sex? Or is it because most gay guys are not interested in getting tied down to one partner for the rest of their life but the girls are? Surely there are a lot of guys out there who would like to be in a committed relationship and perhaps even want to get married? I know sec 377 makes the act of gay sex illegal but where do we stand with respect to a gay marriage? Is there any law in India that clearly says that it is illegal? Is this a loophole guys can use to get married? If yes then why are we not seeing any gay wedding here?
A lot of questions come to mind and unfortunately the answers are not forthcoming. I have heard of a lot of gay guys getting married informally where it is just a verbal pact but I am yet to come across a real gay wedding. I think even my soul may not rest in peace until I have seen one. Will I be able to do it in India during my lifetime? A lot of my friends are very pessimistic about this. They think that even if the change comes, it will be too late for us. I still remain slightly optimistic. These are fast changing times. Who knows what tomorrow may bring.
There's hope yet for all of us. I do not want to go to Canada to lead my life. I want to lead my life in my Bombay, my India. What do you want to do?
When Phoebe attends a Lesbian wedding, the old lady cries out "Oh my god. Now I've seen everything!" and leaves Phoebe's body. That was back in 1996...showing how uncommon gay marriages were, even in the US.
Now, in 2007, we have news of a Lesbian wedding right here in India. Two young girls from Punjab, Baljit Kaur and Rajwinder Kaur got married earlier this month and were courageous enough to declare it to the world. As expected the religious fundamentalists have denounced the marriage. The girls are of course determined to make their marriage a success and are ready to fight the society come what may. They are ready to leave India and head for Canada where their union will be acceptable legally.One of the girls was quoted as saying "Boys are cheaters and we girls trust each other", adding "most boys are drug addicts and are not faithful". I'll ignore the the sweeping generalization for the time being. But I can't help but wonder if that is the reason they "became" lesbians? Would they be straight if they had found a guy who is not a cheater, who was faithful and who was not a drug addict?
Another point that is notable is that although rare, we do keep hearing about lesbian marriages in India. This has happened at least 3-4 times in the past 5-6 years. But except for the Wendell Rodricks wedding back in 2003, I have not heard of guys getting married. The Rodricks marriage was a gay civil union that is legal in France because Rodricks' partner is french and the ceremony was carried out at the french consulate.
So why do we not hear about gay guys getting married? Is it because these kind of marriages do not take place in India? Or is it because it might actually be illegal based on sec 377 that technically makes male gay sex illegal but not Lesbian sex? Or is it because most gay guys are not interested in getting tied down to one partner for the rest of their life but the girls are? Surely there are a lot of guys out there who would like to be in a committed relationship and perhaps even want to get married? I know sec 377 makes the act of gay sex illegal but where do we stand with respect to a gay marriage? Is there any law in India that clearly says that it is illegal? Is this a loophole guys can use to get married? If yes then why are we not seeing any gay wedding here?
A lot of questions come to mind and unfortunately the answers are not forthcoming. I have heard of a lot of gay guys getting married informally where it is just a verbal pact but I am yet to come across a real gay wedding. I think even my soul may not rest in peace until I have seen one. Will I be able to do it in India during my lifetime? A lot of my friends are very pessimistic about this. They think that even if the change comes, it will be too late for us. I still remain slightly optimistic. These are fast changing times. Who knows what tomorrow may bring.
There's hope yet for all of us. I do not want to go to Canada to lead my life. I want to lead my life in my Bombay, my India. What do you want to do?
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
While you were out
I'm a gay guy from Bombay. Like most gay guys I am part of the scene. I chat online. I meet guys. I make friends. I have one night stands. This is what makes me the quintessential urban gay guy. Maybe I'm slightly bolder than the rest as far as my sexuality goes.
Despite all this, it will not come as a surprise to those who are familiar with the gay situation in India that I am still not out of the closet. There are many reasons for that. The most important being the homophobic attitude of the society I am part of. Sure, there are people who might be gay friendly, but on the whole my India is so much in the grips of the sexual taboo that it will be a while before guys like me would not find it hard to come out.
Eventually, I will probably come out to my parents but I can say with almost total conviction that I will not come out to the society at large unless a miracle happens that changes my India dramatically. In spite of all this, my mind keeps wandering into the realms of fantasy where I am out of the closet. I cannot help be think about the freedom I will have. I cannot help but think of being the person that I am without having to hide anything. What if? That's the question that keeps coming to my mind. I know quite a few guys who are totally out of the closet. They are the people who have had the courage to fight the norms of the society. They are the people who believe in making a change rather than waiting for them. They are the people who make me realize what a coward I am. I salute them for it.
If only I had the courage. If only I could do it. What if I was out. My mind has dwelt on this for so long now that I can come up with a thousand reasons why gay guys should come out of the closet. Forget about being an activist. Forget about the rights accorded to us. Forget about the good it will probably do to the "community". It is the smaller things that will make my life a happier one.
Like holding his hands in public.
Like kissing him on the lips as a greeting every time we meet.
Like the soft caress during the romantic scene in the movie without worrying about what others might think.
Like the whispered conversations with my boyfriend at the office party.
Like not having to use an alias when I chat with guys online.
Like not having to act like the macho guy that I'm not.
Like not getting embarrassed of the effeminate guy I met at the GB film fest.
Like wearing a T-shirt that says "I Love Guys" and flaunt it to the world.
Like having the option to be a hysterical queen and rationalize it down to my sexuality (even when I know it would be wrong!).
Like going to watch Brokeback Mountain and not having to hide it from my colleagues or friends.
Like confessing a crush on the hot guy at work (who knows, it might work out).
Like unabashedly eyeing that cute waiter at Brio.
Like going to the school reunion and telling Mr. D'souza, the English, teacher how you were attracted to him back then (and adding it was just a passing fad in case he warms up to the idea!).
Like hitting at the muscular bouncer at the club (and getting "bounced"!).
Like trying to act straight on your Mom's instructions when Aunt Geeta visits and deliberately failing spectacularly (and rejoicing at the thought she'll never visit again).
These are the stuff my dreams are made of. These are the things that make me want to come out. Almost. What are you dreaming of?
Despite all this, it will not come as a surprise to those who are familiar with the gay situation in India that I am still not out of the closet. There are many reasons for that. The most important being the homophobic attitude of the society I am part of. Sure, there are people who might be gay friendly, but on the whole my India is so much in the grips of the sexual taboo that it will be a while before guys like me would not find it hard to come out.
Eventually, I will probably come out to my parents but I can say with almost total conviction that I will not come out to the society at large unless a miracle happens that changes my India dramatically. In spite of all this, my mind keeps wandering into the realms of fantasy where I am out of the closet. I cannot help be think about the freedom I will have. I cannot help but think of being the person that I am without having to hide anything. What if? That's the question that keeps coming to my mind. I know quite a few guys who are totally out of the closet. They are the people who have had the courage to fight the norms of the society. They are the people who believe in making a change rather than waiting for them. They are the people who make me realize what a coward I am. I salute them for it.
If only I had the courage. If only I could do it. What if I was out. My mind has dwelt on this for so long now that I can come up with a thousand reasons why gay guys should come out of the closet. Forget about being an activist. Forget about the rights accorded to us. Forget about the good it will probably do to the "community". It is the smaller things that will make my life a happier one.
Like holding his hands in public.
Like kissing him on the lips as a greeting every time we meet.
Like the soft caress during the romantic scene in the movie without worrying about what others might think.
Like the whispered conversations with my boyfriend at the office party.
Like not having to use an alias when I chat with guys online.
Like not having to act like the macho guy that I'm not.
Like not getting embarrassed of the effeminate guy I met at the GB film fest.
Like wearing a T-shirt that says "I Love Guys" and flaunt it to the world.
Like having the option to be a hysterical queen and rationalize it down to my sexuality (even when I know it would be wrong!).
Like going to watch Brokeback Mountain and not having to hide it from my colleagues or friends.
Like confessing a crush on the hot guy at work (who knows, it might work out).
Like unabashedly eyeing that cute waiter at Brio.
Like going to the school reunion and telling Mr. D'souza, the English, teacher how you were attracted to him back then (and adding it was just a passing fad in case he warms up to the idea!).
Like hitting at the muscular bouncer at the club (and getting "bounced"!).
Like trying to act straight on your Mom's instructions when Aunt Geeta visits and deliberately failing spectacularly (and rejoicing at the thought she'll never visit again).
These are the stuff my dreams are made of. These are the things that make me want to come out. Almost. What are you dreaming of?
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