In the popular sitcom Friends, the character of Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe) has to deal with a situation where the spirit of an old lady enters her body instead of moving on to heaven because she has some "unfinished business". It turns out that the old lady wanted to see a lot of things in her life and now it is up to Phoebe to do it for her.
When Phoebe attends a Lesbian wedding, the old lady cries out "Oh my god. Now I've seen everything!" and leaves Phoebe's body. That was back in 1996...showing how uncommon gay marriages were, even in the US.
Now, in 2007, we have news of a Lesbian wedding right here in India. Two young girls from Punjab, Baljit Kaur and Rajwinder Kaur got married earlier this month and were courageous enough to declare it to the world. As expected the religious fundamentalists have denounced the marriage. The girls are of course determined to make their marriage a success and are ready to fight the society come what may. They are ready to leave India and head for Canada where their union will be acceptable legally.
One of the girls was quoted as saying "Boys are cheaters and we girls trust each other", adding "most boys are drug addicts and are not faithful". I'll ignore the the sweeping generalization for the time being. But I can't help but wonder if that is the reason they "became" lesbians? Would they be straight if they had found a guy who is not a cheater, who was faithful and who was not a drug addict?
Another point that is notable is that although rare, we do keep hearing about lesbian marriages in India. This has happened at least 3-4 times in the past 5-6 years. But except for the Wendell Rodricks wedding back in 2003, I have not heard of guys getting married. The Rodricks marriage was a gay civil union that is legal in France because Rodricks' partner is french and the ceremony was carried out at the french consulate.
So why do we not hear about gay guys getting married? Is it because these kind of marriages do not take place in India? Or is it because it might actually be illegal based on sec 377 that technically makes male gay sex illegal but not Lesbian sex? Or is it because most gay guys are not interested in getting tied down to one partner for the rest of their life but the girls are? Surely there are a lot of guys out there who would like to be in a committed relationship and perhaps even want to get married? I know sec 377 makes the act of gay sex illegal but where do we stand with respect to a gay marriage? Is there any law in India that clearly says that it is illegal? Is this a loophole guys can use to get married? If yes then why are we not seeing any gay wedding here?
A lot of questions come to mind and unfortunately the answers are not forthcoming. I have heard of a lot of gay guys getting married informally where it is just a verbal pact but I am yet to come across a real gay wedding. I think even my soul may not rest in peace until I have seen one. Will I be able to do it in India during my lifetime? A lot of my friends are very pessimistic about this. They think that even if the change comes, it will be too late for us. I still remain slightly optimistic. These are fast changing times. Who knows what tomorrow may bring.
There's hope yet for all of us. I do not want to go to Canada to lead my life. I want to lead my life in my Bombay, my India. What do you want to do?